Something "Nice" For The Holidays

There was a young lady demure
Who was so revoltingly pure
They say that one day
She fainted away
When she saw some canary manure
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Come on people! You didn't really think I was going to be that nice--even if it IS the holiday season...

I Actually LIKE The Guy...

... but I couldn't resist making up a limerick using the President-Elect's name. So, for your listening and dancing pleasure--enjoy (unless you have made other plans.)
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Did you hear that Michele Obama
Is engaged in some family drama
Since she caught herBarak
In a steamy lip lock
Naked, in bed with a lllama.

Joyce Melton Is Partially Responsible For This One...

I don't remember the context when/where my friend Joyce created this limerick. I've changed the wording slightly from the original version but I hope y'all enjoy it in any case...
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A Zoomie from Edwards went bonders
Drinking jet fuel to get himself stonkers
When his asshole caught fire
He flew higher and higher
We need clearance to land him in Yonkers.