This One is Completely Gross

There was an old man of Bubungee
Who's balls were all covered in fungi.
One day at lunch
He broke off a bunch
And said "take this and divide it among ye."

Blame "Pushing Daisies" For This One

The October 8th episode of Pushing Daisies featured the first two lines of a limerick. They didn't finish it--for obvious reasons so it was left up to me to complet the work. So here it is...
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There was a young man named von Dinas
Who reportedly had a HUGE penis
But the sight of his prick
Made everyone sick.
He had several diseases of Venus.

Missing Pieces

A handsome young sailor named Bates
Once did the fandango on skates
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
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The wife of an athlete named Chuck
Has found herself shit-out-of-luck
Since he went to play Hockey
Without wearing his jockey
Now he's missing the tools for a fuck.
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When a certain young lady named Sue
Lost her cherry she moaned "what shall I do?"
"Don't cry," said her mother
"We'll make you another
Of rubber and red ink and glue.

Bad Girls

There was a young lass from Madrid
A most reprehensible kid
Told her Tante Louise
That her cunt smelled like cheese
And the worst of it was that it did.
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A lassie from Sioux Sault Marie
Alas, was as bored as could be
So she sat on the stairs
And counted cunt hairs
Five-thousand-six-hunxred-and-three!
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Back To School Fun

A young man attending St. Johns
Decided to bugger the swans
Then up came a Porter
Who said "butter me daughter
Them swans is reserved for the Dons"
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Medical Miracles

A nurse who was trained in Japan
Lifts men by their pricks to the can
It's a trick of jiu-jitsu
And either it shits you
Or makes you feel more like a man!
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Olympic Gold

Since it's the Olympics how could I not write a limerick or two?
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A gymnast who hails from Beijing
Has a twat that can whistle and sing
She caused quite a scene
In her "floor ex" routine
But it still was a "Gold Medal" thing.
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I know a young fellow named Locke
Who did the pole vault with his cock
He got lots of lift
And a minimum drift
But gave all the judges a shock
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