A lady I know named St. Cyr
Has a bit revolting and queer
I said to her "Mabel,
Get up off the table!
Those quarters are there for the beer!"
-
Ah for the days when beer really was a quarter!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
We Made This One At The Breakfast Table This Morning
I'm not really sure what caused Robyn and I to come up with this one but we did.
-
There was a young fellow of Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds
He waited a bit
Then found in his shit
An abundance of flowers and weeds
-
There was a young fellow of Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds
He waited a bit
Then found in his shit
An abundance of flowers and weeds
Thursday, October 16, 2008
This One is Completely Gross
There was an old man of Bubungee
Who's balls were all covered in fungi.
One day at lunch
He broke off a bunch
And said "take this and divide it among ye."
Who's balls were all covered in fungi.
One day at lunch
He broke off a bunch
And said "take this and divide it among ye."
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Blame "Pushing Daisies" For This One
The October 8th episode of Pushing Daisies featured the first two lines of a limerick. They didn't finish it--for obvious reasons so it was left up to me to complet the work. So here it is...
-
There was a young man named von Dinas
Who reportedly had a HUGE penis
But the sight of his prick
Made everyone sick.
He had several diseases of Venus.
-
There was a young man named von Dinas
Who reportedly had a HUGE penis
But the sight of his prick
Made everyone sick.
He had several diseases of Venus.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Missing Pieces
A handsome young sailor named Bates
Once did the fandango on skates
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
-
The wife of an athlete named Chuck
Has found herself shit-out-of-luck
Since he went to play Hockey
Without wearing his jockey
Now he's missing the tools for a fuck.
-
When a certain young lady named Sue
Lost her cherry she moaned "what shall I do?"
"Don't cry," said her mother
"We'll make you another
Of rubber and red ink and glue.
Once did the fandango on skates
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
-
The wife of an athlete named Chuck
Has found herself shit-out-of-luck
Since he went to play Hockey
Without wearing his jockey
Now he's missing the tools for a fuck.
-
When a certain young lady named Sue
Lost her cherry she moaned "what shall I do?"
"Don't cry," said her mother
"We'll make you another
Of rubber and red ink and glue.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Bad Girls
There was a young lass from Madrid
A most reprehensible kid
Told her Tante Louise
That her cunt smelled like cheese
And the worst of it was that it did.
-
A lassie from Sioux Sault Marie
Alas, was as bored as could be
So she sat on the stairs
And counted cunt hairs
Five-thousand-six-hunxred-and-three!
-
A most reprehensible kid
Told her Tante Louise
That her cunt smelled like cheese
And the worst of it was that it did.
-
A lassie from Sioux Sault Marie
Alas, was as bored as could be
So she sat on the stairs
And counted cunt hairs
Five-thousand-six-hunxred-and-three!
-
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Back To School Fun
A young man attending St. Johns
Decided to bugger the swans
Then up came a Porter
Who said "butter me daughter
Them swans is reserved for the Dons"
-
Decided to bugger the swans
Then up came a Porter
Who said "butter me daughter
Them swans is reserved for the Dons"
-
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