It's Relative

Bow-legged Samantha McGuzzin
Just married her knock-kneed young cousin
The sages all say
That love finds a way
But for Sam and Samantha it doesn't

This One's A Real Monster

I heard that poor old King Kong
Could not find a match for his dong
Til a friendly giraffe
Quaffed his yard-and-a-half
And ecstatically burst into song

A Random Act of Limerick-ing

A lady I know named St. Cyr
Has a bit revolting and queer
I said to her "Mabel,
Get up off the table!
Those quarters are there for the beer!"
-
Ah for the days when beer really was a quarter!

We Made This One At The Breakfast Table This Morning

I'm not really sure what caused Robyn and I to come up with this one but we did.
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There was a young fellow of Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds
He waited a bit
Then found in his shit
An abundance of flowers and weeds

This One is Completely Gross

There was an old man of Bubungee
Who's balls were all covered in fungi.
One day at lunch
He broke off a bunch
And said "take this and divide it among ye."

Blame "Pushing Daisies" For This One

The October 8th episode of Pushing Daisies featured the first two lines of a limerick. They didn't finish it--for obvious reasons so it was left up to me to complet the work. So here it is...
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There was a young man named von Dinas
Who reportedly had a HUGE penis
But the sight of his prick
Made everyone sick.
He had several diseases of Venus.

Missing Pieces

A handsome young sailor named Bates
Once did the fandango on skates
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
-
The wife of an athlete named Chuck
Has found herself shit-out-of-luck
Since he went to play Hockey
Without wearing his jockey
Now he's missing the tools for a fuck.
-
When a certain young lady named Sue
Lost her cherry she moaned "what shall I do?"
"Don't cry," said her mother
"We'll make you another
Of rubber and red ink and glue.