Diseased

I know a young fellow--a Banker
Who got Bubos, Pox, Syph and a chanker
He got all the four
From a nasty old whore
So he wrote her a letter to thank her.
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There was an old man of North Ipswich
Who had syphalis, pox and an itch
His name was McNabb
And he also had crabs
That dirty old son-of-a-bitch
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A fellow from old Istambul
Discovered red spots on his tool
His doctor, a cynic
said "please leave the clinic
"And wipe off the lipstick you fool!"
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A Norwegian whose name was Canute
Was troubled by warts on his root
Her poured acid on those
And wherever he goes
He can now play his cock like a flute

Something "Nice" For The Holidays

There was a young lady demure
Who was so revoltingly pure
They say that one day
She fainted away
When she saw some canary manure
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Come on people! You didn't really think I was going to be that nice--even if it IS the holiday season...

I Actually LIKE The Guy...

... but I couldn't resist making up a limerick using the President-Elect's name. So, for your listening and dancing pleasure--enjoy (unless you have made other plans.)
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Did you hear that Michele Obama
Is engaged in some family drama
Since she caught herBarak
In a steamy lip lock
Naked, in bed with a lllama.

Joyce Melton Is Partially Responsible For This One...

I don't remember the context when/where my friend Joyce created this limerick. I've changed the wording slightly from the original version but I hope y'all enjoy it in any case...
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A Zoomie from Edwards went bonders
Drinking jet fuel to get himself stonkers
When his asshole caught fire
He flew higher and higher
We need clearance to land him in Yonkers.

It's Relative

Bow-legged Samantha McGuzzin
Just married her knock-kneed young cousin
The sages all say
That love finds a way
But for Sam and Samantha it doesn't

This One's A Real Monster

I heard that poor old King Kong
Could not find a match for his dong
Til a friendly giraffe
Quaffed his yard-and-a-half
And ecstatically burst into song

A Random Act of Limerick-ing

A lady I know named St. Cyr
Has a bit revolting and queer
I said to her "Mabel,
Get up off the table!
Those quarters are there for the beer!"
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Ah for the days when beer really was a quarter!