Abuses of (and by) the Clergy

I once had the wife of a Dean
Seven times while the Dean was out skiin'.
Said the wife with some gaiety,
"Not bad for the laiety
But the Bishop once managed thirteen!"
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Have you hard about Reverend Bing?
Who preached sermons and other fine things
But his secret desire
Was a boy in the choir
With a bottom like jelly on springs!
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I've heard of a young lady named Alice
Who once took a piss in a chalice
Said the Priest, "such a stunt!
To twiddle your cunt
Not through need but through Protestant malice!"
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A Sally-Anne"* lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she slipped into bed
The dear virgin said
"I want to be opened with prayer!"
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* "Sally Anne" is aold British slang for a woman in the Salvation Army.
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I know of a certain young lass
Who lay with her beau in the grass,
She said, "how you fill me!
Oh darling you thrill me
Just like Father John's thumb after Mass!"
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A vice both obscure and unsavory
Keeps the Vicar of Salsbury in slavery
Amidst terrible howls
He deflowers young owls
In a crypt fitted out as an aviary.